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Mean what you say and say what you mean – without being mean!

“We help people mean what they say - and organisations say what they mean.”

When we say this, we mean (!) that through the coaching process and through authentic communications, we help organisations, teams and individuals find their identity and their will to speak up and keep their word.

It can be a brave thing, to give your word and to keep it, to care and say you care, and to speak with conviction. When we live up to what we say, we are making choices and decisions based on what we believe to be right – and we are usually more content with our decisions as a result.

This saying is about discovering what matters and bringing this into our conversations – and our communications. In leadership, it's being authentic and having integrity – credibility in leadership lies in trustworthiness, from leading by example.

There are times when we are afraid to say what we believe, and times when social or cultural conventions prevent us from speaking up. In organisations, the challenge often lies in its culture – if it's one where diverse opinions and perspectives are valued, authentic leadership can flourish. If you'd like us to hold space for you to explore this, let us know.

We all have different perspectives on what it means to speak out and to speak from the heart - and there are many reasons why some of us find this difficult: we may have been told to be 'seen and not heard' as a child, or we might not like conflict, or come from a culture where being polite is more important than being honest. There are times when we simply don’t feel like it or feel it’s not worth it, and times we might feel it’s positively dangerous to speak up. This might not have stopped Malala Yousafzai or Martin Luther King, but we judge what’s right for us – and for the audience, and for those who rely on us – in any given situation.

When we do speak from the heart, from our sense of self and are considerate about who’s receiving the message, we're bringing kindness into the equation - situational awareness. Or as the Dalai Lama put it: “Be kind whenever possible – it is always possible.”

What we say and what we mean is not always what is understood In families, friendships and organisations alike, we share a common language, ‘we know what we mean’ – this isn’t necessarily understood from the outside looking in. It makes sense to be as clear as we can – and decide on what you say based on what you want to be understood.

If we don’t learn how to have effective conversations and have an understood way (in an organisation) of giving and receiving feedback, issues can go unresolved – and this is a major blocker to productivity and performance. We can learn, it takes commitment - and the results are worth it. If you'd like some support, get in touch.


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